Potions Intern? Do I hafta?
by ivegotproblams
Summary: Left alone for years, neglected by her adoptive parents, she turned to her true gift of magic. SSOC ...MarySue. No flames people! I'm not a firefighter! And although I would love to own JK Rowling's genious work... especially Snape...dreamy look I don't.
1. How dare you call me a witch!

**Chapter One "How dare you call me a witch!"**

Knocking on her front door awoke Carienne from a restless sleep.

"Coming!" She shouted as she jumped out of bed and started pulling on a robe. Grabbing a hair tie she pulled her hair back attempting to look presentable to whoever awoke her at… Her eyes widened as she looked at the time…7? AM? Dear Lord… It's too early to get up, especially since she just got off of work… 3 hours ago? Stupid bar. Stupid hours. Stupid people. Stupid life. She looked at her bed with a want and need in her eyes before reluctantly going to the door as another knock sounded.

She opened the door with a resounding sigh, taking in the man and woman before her with a tilt of her head.

"…"

The elderly man in the… She shook her head in disbelief, he was wearing a dress, spoke first, inviting himself and the woman inside. Too shocked at the man's clothes she let them come in and closed the door behind them, leading them to attempt to get comfortable in the so-called living room of the dirty run-down apartment.

"Um… Can I help you with something?" Carienne said looking from one to the other.

Once again, the elderly man spoke with certainty.

"My dear, you are a witch."

Carienne's eyes opened wide and she jumped up pointing at them with shock and anger evident in her eyes.

"How dare you call me a witch!"

The older woman got up and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"It's true, and we think you know it is."

She sat back down sullenly, looking at her hands before looking back at them.

"Who are you? What do you want?"

The two looked at one another and then back at her.

"My name is Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." Gesturing to the woman at his side, he introduced her as Minerva McGonagall, the Deputy Headmistress. "What we would like from you is quite simple, for you to come to our school and study there."

She looked at them in admiration at hearing their titles before what they said sunk in. "Wait… you want me to do what?"

"Come to our school and study."

Carienne raised her hand in protest. "Um… problem. I've already graduated from school."

"We realize that, which is why we're now coming to you. You're now old enough to be an intern under one of our teachers so that you can get the teaching that you need. We know that you've studied witchcraft on your own, but you need actual schooling."

"Oh, I guess that makes sen… Wait! What do you mean "teaching that you need"?"

Dumbledore eyes looked grave, as McGonagall looked anywhere but where she was.

"Do you know who your parents are?"

Carienne looked speechless for a second before quickly recovering and shrugging. "I was found by my adoptive parents on their doorstop."

"So, no would be the answer."

She looked at them with a slight glare in her eyes, but nodded.

Dumbledore put his fingers together, looking at her closely over his spectacles. "Your parents were known as the Potters." He stopped, looking at her for any spark of emotion at the name.

She inhaled sharply at this bit of information. "You can't be serious. I… You just… No." She put her head in her hands, shaking.

McGonagall went over and put her arms around the girl trying to comfort her as Dumbledore told her the story of Voldemort and of her newfound parent's lives and deaths.

When Dumbledore finished, Carienne looked at them in resolve. "So what do you want me to do?"

Four hours and 2 explanations later…

Carienne looked at them with her mouth gaping and her eyes bulging. "You want me to do what?!"

Dumbledore explained once again the problem of her going as she currently was and how their best option was for her safety was to become her opposite.

"Really my dear, it will only be while you're in the company of those who don't know."

She looked at him in disbelief. "So what? All the time? I'm me! I might be a witch, but there's one big thing that's missing with your idea! I'M NOT A BOY!" She looked at them as they snuck a glance at each other, her eyes widening even more as she remembered who she was talking to. Her accent coming out in her distress. "No… _Fuckin'_ no to the infinite power!"


	2. Meet your intern, Cameron

**Chapter 2 "Meet your intern, Cameron."**

"Welcome to Hogwarts my dear."

Carienne sighed as she looked up at the school. Once she entered those doors, technically, she'd no longer exist… No, stupid Cameron would. She looked at the two adults walking in front of her and made a face, muttering to herself and cursing her horrible, horrible luck.

Headmaster's Office

Dumbledore looked over at her… He cleared his throat, soon-to-be him, with a thoughtful expression upon his face. What teacher would suit this situation the best? As though a light bulb went off inside his head, he whispered into his dear Minerva's ear. Looking at him as though he was insane, McGonagall shook her head and took off through the door.

Carienne, having spotted Fawkes the second they had entered the office, was over petting the beautiful bird as it cooed at her. She felt Dumbledore's eyes on her so she turned around and looked towards him questioningly. "Where'd she go?"

Dumbledore waved it off as nothing important, so she shrugged and went back to petting Fawkes.

Soon enough, loud and irate voices were heard from outside the office and Carienne looked once again towards Dumbledore only to find him with his eyes twinkling madly and a small smile among his face. "Ah, here they are."

Looking at him in confusion Carienne looked towards the door as it opened revealing McGonagall and a tall man wearing black.

"Headmaster you cannot be serious! I refu-"

"Albus, make him listen to me! For God's sa-"

"-se to be a babysitter! Surely there's someo-"

"-ke! He's being completely unreason-"

"-ne better suited! Or Heaven forbid, wi-"

"-able! He acts as though he has bet-"

"-th time to do this! I am not the rig-"

Carienne looked back and forth feeling as though she were watching a tennis match on television, her eyes widened slightly in disbelief as she watched the two adults bicker. Clearing her throat, she brought attention to herself.

"-ter things to do with his time!"

"-ht teacher."

Hearing her, they both stopped and looked over at her, McGonagall finally remembering she was still there and Snape finally realizing the new pain in his ass seemed to also be in the same room.

"Ah Severus how delightful of you to visit."

Snape turned his glare from the girl to Dumbledore.

"You sent Minerva down to get me Albus."

"Oh yes, I did didn't I?"

Dumbledore waved his hand for her to come over. As she walked the short distance, her already low confidence of being in this situation grew.

"Meet your intern, Cameron. Actually, technically it's Carienne at the moment, but I'm sure Minerva..."

"Yes, yes she told me."

"Carienne this is the Professor that will be tutoring you. Professor Severus Snape, our resident Master of Potions."

Snape looked at the girl with disdain blatantly evident in his eyes.

"What's the point of it though?"

They all looked at Carienne who slightly wavered under the attention.

"I mean, I know you've explained it umpteenth times, but I still don't get it. Why can't I just stay a girl?"

Dumbledore thought it over, looking at her and shook his head.

"It's too dangero- Oomph!"

He rubbed his side where McGonagall had elbowed him. He sighed slightly and the years fell back onto him with force. "Because then it would be against the wizarding laws for you to stay in Severus' rooms. He's the only one that can truly protect you and train you to be ready for the upcoming war. Your brother is the… How do you kids put it? Number 1 on Voldemort's hit list?"

Carienne looked down, nodding before looking back at Dumbledore with set resolve in her eyes. "No."

All three adults looked at her with surprise evident in their eyes.

"What do you mean no?"

Carienne stood up and looked at all three of them with determination written on her face, and her hands on her hips, looking and sounding every bit the Texan girl that she was. "Look, I appreciate everything yal've told me. But I'm me, that's all I'll ever be and I refuse to play someone else. I don't know much about family but from what I do know, I know that they stand by one another. Now, I may not know him, I may not even like him once I meet him, but he's my little brother… MY BROTHER! and he's facing the wizarding world's most evil of evil and I'm supposed to just sit back and hide waiting for something to happen?" She shook her head, before looking Dumbledore straight in his eyes. "I will learn. I will train. And I will fight. But it will be on my terms and no one elses. 'Cause there's no way in hell that I'm going to sit around and not do anything."

Silence reigned over the group as they all thought about what she said.


	3. Ass

_Author's Note: Reviews inspire me yal. The more reviews, the more I'll try to get this story done as quickly as possible._

**Chapter 3 "…Ass."**

"Hurry up girl." Snape snapped at Carienne when he had finally taken notice that she was no longer behind him.

"I'm sorry sir, but… this place is just incredible." Her voice was full of awe as she spoke of the castle.

"Yes, I guess it would be for _you_." He stopped momentarily, sneering the last word at her before walking again with his long strides. "Pay attention, I won't tell you where to go again."

Confusion swept over Carienne as she wondered what she had done to get her new teacher and roommate so angry. Shrugging the thought off, she hurried to catch up to him, attempting to match his long strides with her short ones.

"Why are we going so far?"

Snape paused briefly, looking at the girl at his side before carrying on. "My rooms are in the dungeon."

Carienne blinked, slightly surprised. "The dungeons? …As in dark and damp and underground with torture devices?"

Snape let a small evil glint into his eyes as he nodded faintly, hoping that if he scared her off before they got to his rooms, he would no longer have to deal with her.

"Seriously?" Seeing he was going to make no comment, Carienne went back to looking around the castle, her thoughts this time a little less pure than before.

All too soon, they arrived at a painting of demons and angels, the ongoing war between good and evil.

Snape turned toward her so quickly that she hadn't even noticed his movements. He held a glare in his eyes as though he were trying to bring her thoughts to the surface. "I don't trust you Potter, nor do I like this assignment that the Headmaster deemed me worthy to do." He spat out at her as she looked up at him, slightly annoyed. "But, since I have no choice, this is the painting that leads to my private rooms."

Tired of his attitude and him glaring at her for absolutely no reason, she gave him a cold stare and spat back at him. "Listen, I don't care who you are. I just found out that I'm a Potter. But for fuck's sake! My name's Carienne, not Potter. I'm thankful that you're letting me stay, but I didn't ask for it! So stop fuckin' blaming me!" She said in a fiery and passionate breath, muttering under her breath after she finished. "…Ass."

Snape looked at her with his own heated glare before stepping closer to her and wrenching her chin up to look him in the eyes, his voice tight with barely controlled anger. "Listen you little chit, I will not be treated with such disrespect. You may not have asked for this, but neither did I." He jerked his hand away from her, making Carienne fall slightly back in step. "You will learn to respect me or there will be problems. Understood?"

She looked at him with a clenched jaw and anger radiating from her form.

Seeing that she was not going to make anymore unneeded comments, Snape straightened his form. "Pick your password. It will lead you to your rooms. No one will be able to get into them unless they know of your password."

Carienne slightly calmed down as she thought of what she should make her password. "I… Hmm…"

Snape's jaw tensed as the time passed, waiting for her to make her decision. Hearing a quiet giggle, he looked to see Carienne with mirth dancing in her eyes. "What?"

She looked at him with laughter written on her face, shaking her head. "I was just thinking about this movie I saw, Rocky Horror? I was thinking about one of the extra lines about whips and chains." Seeing him look towards her deadpanned she shook her head. "Anywho, how long can the password be."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he tried to rub away the oncoming migraine. "One word." Damn this chit was getting to him. He sighed; this year was going to be hell.

"One word huh?" She crossed her arms, looking at the painting. "Okay. My password will be… Vampires."

With that said, the painting opened revealing her new home. Hearing someone clearing their throat, she looked back at Snape with an apologetic look before going in.

The living room was done in dark and soft blues. The walls were covered with bookshelves and the floor was enveloped in shaggy carpet that lie on the warm wooden floor.

"If you're done staring, I suggest you go and see to your room."

Carienne nodded to him and started walking, only to stop and look at him slightly puzzled.

"It's the door on the right." He told her in a slightly tired voice as he walked into what she could only guess would be considered his room.

She walked slowly towards her new room, leisurely running her hands up and down the books she could reach. Carienne let herself have a small smile as she finally wound up at her door. Opening it slowly she was slightly shocked at what she saw.

It was her dream room. Soft greens and chocolate browns adorned the room, giving the room a feeling of nature at it's finest. With empty antique bookshelves, dresser and desk adorning the walls. Near the middle of the room, a huge bed brought everything together. Soft lights enhanced the scene bringing a feeling of relaxation into her body. Deciding to unpack later, she sat down on the bed, purring when she felt the softness of the bed under her. Lying down, she let the deep sleep that she'd been keeping at bay for years finally take its hold.

A couple of hours later

Snape came out from his room after getting an owl from Albus about making sure his new… intern felt comfortable. He sneered in revulsion. The little chit was already driving him mad and it hadn't even been 24 bloody hours. It was not his job to make people comfortable dammit! Sighing, he started toward her room, arriving at her door only to stop in confusion as he couldn't get it open.


	4. What is this feeling?

_Author's Note: Thank you so much to my two reviewers! I'm trying to get it done as soon as I can._

**Chapter 4 "What is this feeling?"**

_What is this feeling so sudden and new?_

_I felt the moment I layed eyes on you_

_My heart is rushing_

_My pulse is reeling_

_My face is flushing_

_What is this feeling?_

_Turbid as a flame_

_Does it have a name?_

_Yeeeeeees..._

_Loathing... _

_Unadulterated loathing_

_For your face _

_Your hair_

_Your clothing_

_Let's just say_

_I loathe it all_

_Every little thing however small_

_Makes my very flesh begin to crawl_

_-----------------------------------  
_

Half an hour before Snape came to her door

Carienne woke up from her nap feeling extremely refreshed and as she stretched, she looked around the room wondering where she was going to put her things. Reaching out, she grabbed the closest of her three bags to her and heaved it up on the bed. Biting her bottom lip in thought, she starting going through her bag, grabbing knick knacks out of it to start make her room feel like… home.

At the bottom of the bag she found her CD player and some of her CD's. Glancing at the door with an unspoken question, she looked around the room before her eyes filled with glee.

Back with Snape

He was steaming. What kind of tricks did she think she was pulling! How dare she put wards on her room! He glared at her door as if his glare would melt the wood down given enough time. He rubbed his temples; he was definitely not paid enough to deal with this.

Sighing in frustration, he heard movement from inside and started knocking… well… banging on her door.

"Just a sec!"

He heard some rustling before the door opened to reveal a very disgruntled Carienne, with her headphone's hanging off her neck and CD player in hand.

"Um… Can I help you with something?" Carienne looked at him slightly annoyed; how dare he feel that he has the right to bang on people's doors!

Snape's glare intensified as he saw that she had the audacity to be upset with him. Grabbing her wrist, he began to drag her protesting self toward the living room and tossed her into a chair. "Make yourself comfortable… We need to lay down some rules." He sneered at her as he towered over her body.

Carienne, disgusted with the man, if you could even call this disgusting bat a man, attempting to scare her into submission, rubbed at her now bruising wrist, growling up at him lowly in her throat. "How dare you!"

"I don't dare anything little girl. I do as I please." He told her in a demeaning voice.

Her eyes widened in anger and she stood up abruptly, 'causing Snape to lose his footing and fall back a couple of steps. Forgetting about her wrist, she used her hand and used it to push him back with her finger, with each of her words. "You… arrogant… conceited… large-nosed… greasy… son-of-a-bitch."

Grabbing her hand in both of his, Snape stopped her bruising finger in mid-attempt at its next sequence of pokes. "You will cease this childishness immediately."

She looked at him, gaping a bit, before she attempted to get her hand back. "I'm not the one being childish, thank you very much! You're the one that started this whole thing with trying to break my door with your constant banging!"

He rolled his eyes at her immature act, watching her other hand carefully in case she start with that incessant poking again. "I couldn't get in, with whatever wards you put up, so I had to take the… muggle approach."

Carienne looked at him slightly puzzled before realization hit her and she started laughing.

Snape, confused as to what had just occurred, he just raised one of his eyebrows and let her hand go as the immediate danger of pokage was gone.

Finally calmed down, Carienne looked at Snape with a small smile, while he looked back at her with a scowl.

"Now, what may I ask did you find so hilarious that you felt the need to act like that?"

Her smile widened and she sat down on the couch, tucking her legs under her. "Well… it's just that, I didn't use any wards."

His scowl deepened as his forehead scrunched up in confusion. "Then… What did you use?"

Carienne tilted her head as she watched his facial expression change. He's kinda cute when he's confused. Her body tensed as that thought hit her, but she shook it off and shifted, slightly grimacing when she accidentally shifted onto her now bruised wrist. "Actually I…" She stopped mid-sentence as she found her hand in two large ones. She looked up slowly, and saw Snape's gaze on hers before he left in a flurry of robes. Startled, she turned her head, as the door to his room slammed shut.

She looked into the dark and empty fireplace and closed her eyes briefly, enjoying the cold feeling around her. Getting up, she went to her room, stopping at her door frame to look back at his door, whispering quietly to herself. "What is this feeling?" Shaking her head, she went into her room, closing the door quietly behind her. Making sure not to lock the door this time, she went over to her bed and lay down on it staring up at her ceiling wondering what the hell just happened.


	5. I’ll drive you so fuckin’ far away

Chapter 5 "I'll drive you so fuckin' far away"

_When I was busy waging wars on myself_

_You were there to stop the fight_

_You never doubted my warped opinions_

_On things like suicide and hate_

_You made me compliment myself _

_When it was way too hard to take_

_So I'll drive so fuckin' far away _

_That I never cross your mind_

_And take whatever it takes in your heart_

_To leave me behind…_

_Hate me today_

_Hate me tomorrow_

_Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you…_

Snape woke early the next morning after a night of restless sleep. After donning his robes, he left hurriedly, careful to avoid Carienne at the moment. What was he thinking hurting her? He sighed; Albus would have his job when he found out. Quietly, he passed her room, leaving his private rooms and going to his personal sanctuary.

Carienne hadn't slept but an hour that night, so as Snape was passing her room, she stayed quiet. Hugging her pillow to her, she wrapped the blankets around herself, like a cocoon. Not hearing him leave, she groaned in annoyance about being so stupid. "Damn it Cari! He's a teacher and not to mention a complete asshole of the highest power! … Why am I always attracted to people I hate?" She growled at herself, throwing her pillow at her mirror, but when a male voice started talking to her she about jumped out of her skin.

"Sweetheart, I know that you're not used to magic and everything but, we mirrors do still break."

Carienne by the time that the mirror was about half-way into his sentence had somehow managed to fall off the bed, onto her bruised wrist and get completely tangled inside of her sheets. Looking up at the mirror that was laughing, she glared and attempted to get up again, ending up getting tangled even more.

"Well when angels fall, they really fall don't they? Here, you'll never get out of those by yourself. Dobby!"

Carienne looked up at her mirror in question, wondering how a mirror was going to get her untangled. All the sudden a little creature appeared in front of her, making Carienne jump in surprise.

"Dobby sorry miss! Dobby didn't mean to scare miss! Dobby was only called to help miss!"

Carienne looked on in shock as the creature, now that she got a good look at it; it was quite cute, kept hitting itself as if personally punishing itself. "Dobby… Dobby… Dobby! Please stop. Promise me you won't do that."

"Dobby promises miss!" Dobby looked up at her with his big watery eyes looking as though he was about to begin apologizing again, before the mirror stepped in again.

"Dobby, Carienne needs help getting untangled from her sheets."

Dobby nodded quickly, snapping his fingers making the linens disappear and reappear back upon the bed. "Dobby serve miss Carriin!"

"Thank you so much Dobby." Carienne knelt beside him, putting a kiss onto its forehead. "I don't know what I would've done without you! Those sheets would've been the death of me."

Dobby turned bright red, and started stuttering before snapping his fingers and disappearing without another word.

Carienne looked around the room wondering where Dobby had gone. Shrugging to herself she stood up and went to her mirror, looking at it with trepidation. "So… uh… Not to be rude or anything… but what's going on? Why can you talk?"

"Oh I am sorry. I didn't introduce myself when you first arrived because you seemed so tired and then last night before you went to sleep you seemed preoccupied. My name is Liam. I'm your resident ghost." And as the last words sounded throughout the room, Liam's form came into sight.

"My… wha-huh?" Carienne stood there not knowing what to do.

"Your ghost." Liam said as he floated over to where she stood and placed a hand by her shoulder, giving her a chill.

Experiencing the cold go through her, she stepped away from him. Feeling the bed hit the backs of her knees, she sat down upon it, looking at Liam in uncertainty. "You're a ghost?" At his nod, she continued. "And… you haunt my room?"

"Well, sort of."

At this Carienne raised her eyebrows. "How can you sort of haunt somewhere?"

"I'm Slytherin's ghost, so I can haunt anywhere I want in the castle." Liam told her sheepishly.

"…" She stared at him in bewilderment, before her curiosity got the best of her. "Wait… whose ghost?"

Over the next four or so hours, Carienne and Liam became good friends as he explained to her about Hogwarts and the houses, and she used her dry humor to make jokes and lighten the atmosphere.

When Snape returned later that night, he arrived to find Carienne talking to herself. "What are you doing? Not only are you a pain in my ass, you neglected to inform the Headmaster and myself you're insane as well?" As he finished his rant, he felt a icy-cold chill pass through him, offering a hot cup of cocoa to Carienne.

"Hello Severus."

Sputtering in confusion he looked at Carienne who gladly accepted her warm drink and tilted her head in puzzlement.

"Why am I insane? Liam and I were just having a discussion."

"Liam? Who in the bloody hell is Liam and why is the Bloody Baron in my rooms?"

Carienne looked on as Snape got redder and redder in the face as though his anger was just mounting. Wow… he must have had a bad day. Shrugging she looked towards Liam, thanking him for her cocoa. "He's Liam, the one you so crudely called the Bloody Baron. Anyways, it's not nice to call him that, that's not his name, now is it?"

Throwing up his hands in irritation, he retreated to the sanctity of his rooms. Muttering to himself under his breath. "If it's the last thing I do, I'll drive you so fuckin' far away you'll never be near me again.


End file.
